My life has taken a turn for the down side I suppose you could say. Though I have the newest version of the first part of my book online now I feel like shit and I don't really want to be alive right now. I have people bugging me about things left right and centre. I am like a telephone fiend. I never seem to get off the god damned phone. But then again. I don't know if I really want to get off the phone. When I'm not on the phone it seems lonely where I am. Even if my mother is home. It still seems very lonely.

Well I guess I could write about this:

My boyfriend and I recently had a talk about depression, he said that he was getting a little depressed and what not, so I got worried and wanted to talk to him about it and we did. But while we were talking I realized that I have been very depressed in the past little while. Its hard for me to avoid it, but I have been. I suppose I have been trying to ignore it by never being alone, but I always fail at that somehow. Like I am alone now. It is really hard to resist certain urges I have. I don't like them, but they are like a not-so-subtle addiction. I don't think I will be able to control them for much longer.

I almost don't know what to say here. Really there is a lot going on right now, I guess. But I don't really think I realize just how much is going on. I have to study for my English exam, and History, and Careers *rolls eyes*. I really don't know how that became a course. But whatever. And I have to make sure I have my lines memorized for my Drama exam presentation.
Shouldn't be too hard, I am Elizabeth in one scene of Pirates of the Caribbean...so yeah. I have a total of like three lines...maybe.

I should go and talk to my mother though...she just got home.

Today seems like it will be a good day. Though exams seem to be creeping up on me, and I am not really ready for most of them...that's okay. I will be able to study. I am excited for tonight...or a little excited at least. I get to go to volunteer! I will be able to get three hours of the forty I need to collect before I graduate. I think they are going to let me volunteer on Wednesdays in the summer too. I am quite excited for summer too.

It will be such a blast. I have some plans but I also have a job. So I think I will have plenty of fun and some money too! It should be nice

I can't wait for anything, I just seem so impatient today. I think I might be able to get some writing in, in my third period today, I am one of the first ones to do my presentation and I will be done pretty fast, and after that I will be able to write through everyone else's presentation. It should be nice. And usually the class is pretty quiet when someone is presenting. So I will have peace except for the one who is actually talking.

It will be nice anyway.

love you all <3

p.s I'm having a really good day so far, though my mother doesn't seem to want to wake up and she will be late if she doesn't do so soon

Well, life thus far has been I suppose generally pretty kind to me. I don't want to sounds greedy and seem like I want all the happiness to myself. But I do want some of it. It seems like it is being stolen from me now. Because I really am happy at certain times. I got together with some old friends the other night and we had a fabulous time. The car ride home was the best part by far. We got to see the side of us that made us all friends and that made us all link in with each other. Its that one part of us that is almost the same but a little different so it keeps pulling us further and further in because we feel we need to know about that little difference more and more. It makes friends. And I'm glad it does. I need to see my friends more. And I need to change some other things in my life too...just have to figure out how.

Off to school now though, and I will try to write here more often...I do have some writing I need to put on here...