So there is I guess a lot going through my head right now, a lot of things that I am excited about. Things to look forward too. Unfortunately I will have to be looking forward for a long time. I wish it wasn't so long but I guess it is a good thing that it is. I need to save the cash to get there ... I'm sure it will all be okay by the time I get there.

I think I have decided what I am doing after high school is done. I am hopefully going to have all my grades where I want them and I will be done school at the end of June 2011 and will have all my credits and my volunteer hours. I will graduate and be all happy and what not. Then I'm moving out when school is done, with my boyfriend (or so we are thinking now, I hope it all goes as planned). I am starting to save big time for when that all happens. Should be interesting. Then I am going to take a year off and get a full time job doing something that will hopefully have something to do with what I want to do when I get older. Then I will be going to University for whatever I want to do (I'm really unsure of what that is right now...but I'm thinking).

So yeah... lots to be excited and nervous about

Today will most likely be one of the most boring days of summer yet, I don't think I will get to see Kenneth so that will suck, and I don't think I will get to go anywhere either. There is a shitload of cleaning I have to do and then when my mum gets home she thinks its my job to clean out HER van. I can't wait for August. I can't wait. 18 more days until I leave. I get to spend a week with all girls. It should be nice. I think we will all get along this year. And I might get to go shopping after our camping trip yay

Only thing that really sucks is that I don't have a camera to bring. Only my phone. And three of the girls (including me) have the same phone. The other girl doesn't have a phone. It is going to be interesting to say the least. We all want there to be tons of pictures this year, but if we don't have a camera that could be interesting.

And I am soo sick of this little town and all the drama inside it. Its really getting ridiculous. I would like to leave, but I really can't. I have to stay here until I finish high school. I'd like all the drama to go away, but that seems too much to ask. Sooner or later it has to leave right?

Well the last few days have been interesting to say the least...I have been in and out of fights with just about everyone that I can think of. I have been mad at everyone and then I have been happy with everyone. I am up and down with my moods...it is getting a little ridiculous actually, but then again, all part of being a woman I guess. But then again I guess the guys that I hang out with get this mood swing thing...being a teenager? My parents get it too...even my dad -.- guess its part of being a human being...I mean mammal...I mean...living breathing thing? Does that just about cover it? .... aaannnyyywwaaaayyyssssss

Book is coming along. I am getting some ideas for the next parts. I might edit part six a little so that it is a little more interesting. I'm not really sure if it is...at all interesting at the moment. Let me know what you think.

Connor-remind me to send you part 5...

Really happy right now actually. Hope it lasts. Saw something in the reflection that I liked today : )

Well I got my wisdom teeth out, and it hurts. And well...that is about it. I am back with Ken and I am happy with him. We have talked about a lot of things and we are doing a lot better than we were before. I smile when I'm with him now, truthfully not that fake masked smile. And I also still have time with my friends and I like that. The only friend that he has a problem with me being with is my ex boyfriend that I never should have been with in the first place. I hate being alone and he seemed to be there for me so I went for it. It was a stupid thing to do and it hurt him. I regret it, I don't want to hurt anyone anymore. So I am going to stay with Ken, the one I love and keep my friends and make sure that I do that. I am trying to hang out with some more girls again, but if it doesn't work this time then I am just giving up on it. Its not worth just trying and trying and completely getting my heart trampled on, or just ripped out and torn apart. I get too many judgmental girls talking to me and then nuzzling into my heart and then ripping it apart from the inside out.

But that is enough of that, I have to get to work. Then I have to work again in thy hometown on Monday.

Emotions come naturally to people. Its just a thing that happens. Its natural. But what if a person strays so far away from humanity and from natural things that emotion no longer becomes natural? Or what if they just block it out so much that it becomes a chore to feel anything? Is that considered "emo"? Because in my description "emo" is when someone is really emotional. Actually that is what its supposed to mean. But everyone thinks it means that someone is depressed. I don't get it. People, okay, seriously. I guess I'm "emo". Meaning I am extremely emotional, but what would happen if I were to shut emotions out...can I even do that?