Well artistically...I have been a little...asleep I think. I am reading a really good book right now and I am in a new relationship so both of those things take up some serious time. And all my classes in school are still kind of new. But I will be writing...better quality and maybe just...kind of doing other kinds of art to try it out. I was thinking of taking an art class somewhere at some time. I will still think about it and I might try to learn to play guitar again..I will have to find all my tuning stuff...


Well...yeah that's pretty much my life right now

Well, there is some stuff going on in my life right now, I really can't say too much here. Sorry to anyone who actually cares. A lot of this journal stuff is just for me. Really I don't want to force people into reading this stuff. I want anyone who cares to read if they feel like it. But writing this stuff down makes me feel a little lighter.

I need to relax before the school year starts, but some things seem to be making it a bit...difficult for me to do so. I need to get rid of the difficulty but there is something stopping me. Its like I need the difficulty in my life. I know I will never be rid of it. I just wish it would give me a break every now and again.

Guess I kind of can't wait for school to start again, I need something to keep my mind off of a bunch of things that are going on right now. I need to think about something when I can't think of other things. There are times when the things that are going on in my personal life need to be drowned out with something else. Something that will eventually be productive. Plus I will be working and volunteering all at the same time. I will have hardly any time to focus on my personal issues I hope that is a good thing. I really hope I won't drown my personal life and other stuff going on in it. There are things that I can't bear to lose. I really don't need to be an emotional wreck at any time this year.

Both of my semesters are pretty hard. I will have homework to distract me and I will have classes to go to and I won't be able to take any sick days. I will have to go everyday. If I miss any days it will be really bad. I will have a lot to catch up on. I think English will be nice to go back to

It will be nice to see my friends everyday again too ... I need that. Especially right now.

I really needed to sit down and type for a while I need to do this for me. I don't so much as feel like I'm falling apart anymore. My life feels pretty together right now. We will see how that holds up in the next few days and weeks. I will really need Ken and my friends then. I really hope they don't all abandon me in my time of need. I wouldn't be able to handle that.

But I got a shock today. One that I was never expecting. One of my friends revealed to me a secret that I really can't tell anyone. And I really hate it. I mean not that I want to go out and tell everyone and their uncle. But I really can't even tell my parents. I know why he doesn't want everyone knowing, its because I don't think he wants to have stupid special treatment from everyone. Its going to be hard now knowing, not to treat him differently. But because he is one of my best friends, I will try my very best.

I had to get that out.

Thank you.

Here is my journal that I do every...however many days. I can't do it you know, everyday that would just be...too...organized for me. I have to work today and then when I'm done work I think I should clean my room but I probably won't. I will likely sit in my room and read and then see if Ken texts me. I really hope he does. It almost seems like he is mad at me all the time now. It makes me really sad
I wanted to go to his house last night, but that didn't work out. But I guess I'm going to his house on Thursday night. We will see how that goes. I really hope he isn't all mad at me the whole time. That would actually make me really sad

But whatever I guess its just something that I have to deal with, life. It sucks. Whatever.


Guh, guess I should get ready and leave for work soon... grr

Well, we are camping now and today started out really amazing. And we had our curfew extended and everything, it was going to be great. Until our group of four split up and two of us went "missing". Which means drinking and what not. We don't really know what happened to them. We have only heard the cover story that the parents had to hear. I don't know. Me and Tasha (best friend that was with me) are and were totally pissed. We hoped that nothing was wrong, but we knew there wasn't.

Anyway, the rest of the trip will be...well...interesting.

Love you all.

Byeee

<3